Parents and Their Damn Children

When the media tells us what to do everyone freaks out (Though, I suppose that those who do what the media tells them is the exception), but when we tell our own children what to do, even when we tell them very weird things (I will come to this), it is suddenly alright. Is the wish of these people to disobey everyone else, but still have all else forced to obedience? Do we like to rule our own children as a projection of the resistance we feel towards ourselves being ruled by others?

 

I remember the 90’s, when parents told their children all kinds of stupid things:

If you watch TV too much, your eyes will become square.

If you cross your eyes for too long, they will stay that way.

If you roll your head you may break your neck.

If you swear too much, your tongue will become black.

If you lie your tongue will become blue.

If you don’t clean your room, the dust rats will bite your toes.

If you watch too much Transformers, they’ll come out of the screen.

If you don’t wear your bicycle helmet and fall, your head will crack open like an egg.

 

All of these “rules” are about limiting and frightening children so that they will refrain from doing petty stuff that annoys adults. They do nothing but reveal the frustrations and anxieties that fly about in our parents’ minds. Still, parents themselves weren’t exactly the best role models. In fact, they seldom lived by these rules themselves. Any opposition from the children was quickly discarded. “You will understand when you get older.” Parenting consisted of scaring children and forcing them to live a life robbed from self-experiences, where all they did was to be colored by their obedience to the parents forcible will. No free thinking was allowed that was not to the parents content, and much of the outside world was censored for them. This isn’t exactly news, though it isn’t exactly gone either. It is very present.  

How does this affect a human being? Imagine yourself being forced to obey someone. You will never get an explanation as to why, other than “because I say so” or “because I’m your parent”. There is nothing to it other than the unjust concept of an unquestionable authority, which decides what is allowed to do and what is allowed to say. As adults, we would get extremely upset about this (if we ourselves were subject to this concept), because we don’t want an authority to parent us, we want freedom and justice (though, freedom and justice that serves us well rather than others). The less we get as children, the more we want as adults. It shows how much freedom we want in how much we are unwilling to obey other people, unless there is something to it. “If I don’t get paid for this, then forget it, do it yourself.”  

As a parent, you have the power over another human being, a power which is easy to abuse. A child does only have a naive interpretation of the world, as it does not have as much experience to build its expectations from. We decide what our children will learn, what opinions they should have and what clothes they will wear. As soon as they grow old enough to resist our authority (hey, no wonder why teenagers are so grumpy, when I come to think of it), we grow back to our own bitter selves. There’s not much more to be done or said, power washes away with age. When it has been washed away, it leaves small grains of realisation behind it, and with them come the questions crawling to us. 

“Maybe I could have done things differently? How did it come to this? What did I do to bring up such an upset kid?”

 These aren’t exactly rare thoughts among parents, and not rare at all among people in general. When we see the opportunity we will act out our wishes, which, as I have alreday stated, are colored by what we lacked during our own childhood. Maybe some people should be a bit less narrow and a bit more open to begin with. I’m simply promoting the acceptance of different willpower among people, especially between children and their parents, that’s all. You’d think people would need some self-distance, and a strong bottle of self-realisation while they’re at it. Damn hypocrites.

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One Response to “Parents and Their Damn Children”

  1. yourothermotherhere Says:

    We pass along the good and the bad without questioning. I wonder why?

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